You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
