I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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