bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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