Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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