I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
