Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
