she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize