he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
