i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
