I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
