Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
