You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
