are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
