uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize