She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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