I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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