Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
