There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize