Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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