ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
