just come out here and I will go home with you...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
