well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
