I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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