the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
