just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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