Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize