It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
