My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
