it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
