this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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