Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
