So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
