their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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