I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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