Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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