Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
