I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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