I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
