I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
