is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We need to rekindle our bromance
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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