yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
