you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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