just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
