just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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