New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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