Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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