She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
