yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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