So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You pole danced in your parka.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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