i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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