I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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