i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
