Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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