he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
