i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Still dying that you shit outside
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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