Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
