we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Mom said you looked used
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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