Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
