yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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